Sunday, March 11, 2012

St. Valentine's Day Revisited

Did you guys make it through Valentine’s Day unscathed? It’s safe to look back now from a vantage point of a month.

If you asked Americans to complete the phrase, “Saint Valentine’s Day…” most would likely say “…massacre.” And isn’t it ironic that a day set aside for love is automatically referenced to a violent,  bloody, criminal deed—perhaps the most notorious in our country’s history.

Valentine’s Day is supposed to provoke affection, not anger. That’s why we spend so much time choosing just the right card—we want to make sure that the emotion expressed by the greeting card writer matches that of our own toward our loved one.

So wouldn’t it be better to just write a note of our own—one written from the heart? Our heart. We could tell our lover exactly how we feel. In our own words. That’s what we all should have all done that day; that day that illustrates our respect for and love of our special someone.

Of course, that would have been difficult for some to do, given their deficiency in writing skills. I mean, it could be challenging for them to string one coherent word onto another for forty or fifty straight words.

So that’s why God created Hallmark. We didn’t have to write one blessed thought to our beloved on that day, because someone who knows exactly how we feel did it for us. We only had to find out which card they put those thoughts into. That should have taken you only ten or fifteen minutes in the card store.

Well, maybe a few minutes more, all things considered. First you would have had to drive there, acquire a parking space, bustle through the aisle with the Valentine’s Day cards and find just the right picture on the front of the card (I have found that flower illustrations work best with my wife; puppies and kittens—not so much). And then you’d have to have stood alongside the other non-writers, hoping that you could find what you wanted quickly and cheaply enough.

Yes, cheaply enough. Now please don’t try to convince me that you didn’t turn the card over and check the price before you bought. It’s a standard rule of love and affection that you do not overpay for telling your sweetheart how much she means to you.

After all, wouldn’t a thoughtful woman appreciate that?

Think about that for next year. That is, if there hasn’t been another Saint Valentine’s Day massacre to your relationship.

Al Capone would appreciate the sentiment.

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